Nostalgia - Or lack of it

Its been 15 days since i have come back to USA after having gone back to India from the same place after three and a half years. Monterey is such a lovely place and each day of my stay here I have been fascinated by the natural beauty, the peaceful atmosphere and wonderful weather. However things this time around is quite different. I dont know what it is but something seems different now. Maybe this is due to the fact that mentally i have already dissasociated from the place. I know I am going to B school and relocating to Hyderabad for a year and I know that I have to leave this place maybe forever.

I am not all nostalgic. At times I really feel all sad about having to leave the place but that is really infrequent. Honestly I am amazed at how less bad I feel about having to leave Monterey. My stay in Monterey has been one of the best years after leaving college. I have so many fond memories, memories that will last a lifetime. I have matured in so many ways during my stay here and made lasting friendship with many. Monterey is also the place where I learnt that I could love a girl and how nice it feels to be in a relationship. So is it not strange that I dont feel as bad as I should?

The answer lies in me. I think I have an adventurous instint. People who know me probably would frown and say Debottam and Adventurous? Well I have never been the guy who escaped school to go to movies, or who bunked tution to see his girlfriend or for that matter propose to the girl I had a crush on in my adolescence. I have taken the well established route of School to Computer Science Engineering to a stable decent paying job. But I could feel that something in me which never let me be content with whatever I was or whatever I was doing. During my stay in US I have visited almost 70 percent of the national parks, enjoyed each and every moment of exploring this vast country and have travelled to new places at the slightest of excuses from meeting a friend, to enrolling in a training to attending a conference. I have driven out alone for hours on stretch and felt myself alone in the middle of nowhere.

The same has been the case with my career as well. I have been lucky to have changed roles for the better every year or so in my career. Yet there was that thing that used to poke and prod to come out of the comfort zone and try to do something different - something that i always wanted to do...I must admit that the special person I mentioned above also played her part to support this feeling and the end result? GMAT and MBA Application.

The day I got in ISB was one of the happiest in my life. I was at home, near the people I love and nothing could be more perfect that that. But this day also marked a new beginning. It showed me a new unexplored way which was inviting me to travel on it.A path that would possibly pull me away from the people whom I love the most in this world but that adventurous self in me became happy. My mind deep down is now already bracing itself for the thrilling ride to the unknown future. Today I can say with confidence that I really dont know where I see my life after five years. Where I would be staying or where I would be working or what actually I would end up working on. Call me foolish, call me crazy but I feel the fact that I dont know makes me happy. It makes me wake up each day with anticipation of nice things, of new things and not to the monotony of repetition. I could have taken the more conventional way to a happy life - working and getting settled in Kolkata near my family and friends or shifting jobs to settle somewhere in the comfort of developed nations (read US,EU or AUS) but I feel that my happiness lies in the journey to the unknown. I am sure that this journey will take me to all these places and I also know that this journey will be fulfilling. So as the time has slowly come to bid farewell to Monterey, I feel free....free fallinggggg