To Leave or Not to Leave

A couple of days back I filed my official resignation. Initially I had decided to take a Leave without pay for studies but then I had to change my decision for some other reasons. Whatever it is I was quite comfortable with the idea of resignation till the time I actually sat down to pen it down.

I must admit that writing the resignation letter was a lot more difficult than what I had imagined.In my state I should not have second thoughts about it and I dont, but resignation was not easy. A million pictures panned through my head. The days in undergrad college when I was worried about campus recruitment, the day I got my first job,the day I left my first job to join my current job. But then I have resigned before..so why is it different this time? Well for a few reasons which I think I should list out

1) I am incurring a significant financial burden for my MBA studies.[50000 USD(cost of MBA) + 20000 USD(my Indian salary)]

2) I have been working for the last 5.5 years and a positive cash flow has become a norm. It is difficult to imagine myself without a income source.

3) The US economy has already slipped into recession and although the decoupling theory is doing the rounds, it is impossible to predict the industry state in early 2009 when we are scheduled to have our campus recruitments.

4) Although I am not extremely worried about landing up a job post MBA, the uncertainty is landing up with a job I really want or the one which is right for me.

People who love me always tell me not to worry about all these but I could not help it. There is no doubt that I am am happy about my decision to study and that probably better opportunities await me post MBA. But these last few days has proved yet again that I am still vulnerable to change. I am coping with it but it would be dishonest not to admit that this has not affected me in any way. Sometimes I feel that not many people understand what I am going through at this moment. Hope someone reading it will :)